Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Trusting in God. Whenever...

So, if you haven't heard, we moved to TN. Not because we were looking for something new, not because we were tired of CA, not because we didn't spend 5 years looking for the loophole of not leaving CA, but because God finally removed all obstacles. We've tried to avoid it but after my accident, we finally got the message.

So here we are in TN. We've started attending a new church. We've planted the roots for a new CR, and continue to water them in hopes in starting it again in May sometime. I have a new job. We have a place to live. We are able to connect with the family that was out here before on a weekly if not daily basis.

Things are going well...it's been 3 months.

My idea of change though is like that of a horse in a starting gate. I want things to happen...now, change...now. I'm not equipped to wait. Either put me in a rut, or change things before I can get in the rut...but please do it quickly.

So a new level of trusting God is upon me. To fervently believe that He has a plan ( I know...it sounds familiar if you've been reading my blog, because I think sometimes I am the only one that He keeps off on the sideline.) But after saying all that, I earnestly want a glimpse into what God has planned for me and my family. I see patches of brightness periodically when I think...yeah this is it, but more often than not I see fields of grey, wondering when it's all gonna take flight.

As I've said, my dream and vision is to become a recovery Pastor somewhere, somehow. And that dream keeps me from getting excited about anything else. It seems like it's the cookie jar on the top shelf that I just can't get to.

So back to the title of today's ramblings. I MUST learn and practice to Trust in God whenever, always, no matter what. Why is that so hard for me? I dunno exactly, but today I'm thankful for where I've been and done and I'm looking forward to when He finally shows me the whole thing.

Thanks for letting me share.